I like to think.for the most part I have been a pretty "good" girl in the 22 years I have lived. I have had what people would say is a "normal life. God has blessed me more than I deserve. Really he blessed us all more than we deserve when he died for OUR sins but anyways...parley the question "what am I doing for God?" Has weighed heavy on my heart. I have felt like I defined being a Christian to fit what I wanted in my life and tried to make it fit my selfish ambitions. Everyday I realize more and more how wrong and selfish I was. I also realize that I am human and naturally in my sinful nature I think like that BUT through the power of God I can do a WHOLE lot better. I want my life to be drowned in the word of God. I want everything I think, say and feel be for Gods Glory. I want everything I do in my life to be through Gods will. The other day one of my friends was telling her little girl " you better be good or Santa will put you on the naughty list and you wont get toys" I thought to myself "Jenny this is your way of thinking when it comes to Gods will for your life." I have thought,"I know God doesn't owe me or have to bless me with what I want but surely he will since I have been a "pretty good girl"" I have thought Gods will for me will surley be finish college, get a job, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. Now there is nothing wrong with doing those things at all, where I have messed up was wanting those things on my time and just assuming that's what God will is for my life. Its like I have been trying to bargain with God instead of TOTALLY surrendering and fully seeking Gods will for my life no matter what the circumstances.
In a way I feel like I am starting new, what use to be my goals and plans for my life have changed and God is showing me many areas in my life that I need to make changes, some big and some small. God is showing me that he really does have my best interest at heart and he is going to take care of me NO MATTER WHAT,I just have to get my stubborn and selfish butt out of the way. There really is no greater Joy, no greater Peace and no greater Love that we can find and have ANYTIME like Jesus. It gives me chills writing it. I have taken it for granite for so many times and only proclaimed and asked for it mostly in time of hurt and need. Not anymore though.
I am ready to be a true disciple of Christ and sincerely accept his will for my life. Whetether it be a stay at home mom or to be single and be a missionary in a different country. I am here on this earth to show and spread the love of Jesus Christ no matter what. It doesn't matter to me where or with who anymore because I know I will find no greater joy, peace or love than what I will in Gods plan for my life. I am done just admiring, just worshiping and just loving God. It is time I go do what he says and do it his way...no matter what.
It is simple written down but living it is a whole other inning in the game of life , I am going to strike out plenty of times but I know God will keep pitching to me and never give up on me and that give me the courage to take on anything that comes my way because "my God is bigger and my God is greater than any other."
The last thing that I think is one of the most important parts to living out all I have written above is to live one day at a time. I cant get caught up in trying to see where and what I will be doing next week, month, year or 5 years. I will miss out on what God wants and is doing now. He has discipleship and blessings for us each day but I will miss them if Im to busy worrying or trying to look ahead. God already has it figured out and its way better than I could plan it so why worry about it and miss out on something great right now.
Everyday for Him
Matthew 10:28
Luke 12:48
Jeremiah 29:11.
God Bless
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