Sweetly Broken and Holy Surrendered

It is not that God is finally showing me how He can really work and how powerful He is but that I am getting out of my own way and allowing the Holy Spirit to move and work in me like He wants to. It saddens me but brings me so much joy at the same time. I have let so many things block and distract me from true meaning of being Holy surrendered to my God. It's not my life it's not about me. I have said this in many of my blogs and saying it was hard because as a selfish human and living it out means sacrifice in some way that we don't want. Who cares because the small "American sacrifice" cannot compare to how awesome the move of the Holy Spirit in your life is. Basketball was such a huge part of my life and I wanted to be successful and compete at the highest level and I would do whatever it took to do that but there were days that I didn't want to do the work that I required of myself. I would lose focus of what hitting a 3 pointer at the end of a game to win felt like or winning a championship or knowing I made my dad proud. From the age of 9-21 this is what I loved and strived for. I could always relate and use basketball in my walk with Christ. It was my biggest ministry field and I give God all the Glory for my success. I am getting to what this has to do with now in my life I promise. I am a visual, can relate to life stories kind of learner. I see now my relationship with my Savior is a lot like my relationship with basketball was. I wanna be the best I can for my Savior not because I have to be because God doesn't need me or depend on me(thank goodness) He wants me though. He wants me to fight and give everything I have for Him. The feelings of different emotions and the blessings He gives us when we do these things are like hitting a 3 pointer to win a game or winning a championship or like making your father proud but so much greater and sweeter. Yes, there will be times we get tired and don't want to keep pushing to be better but all we have to do is remember how sweet it feels when Glory is brought to Him. Not to focus on the last play but move on to the next play and make it count and keep in mind that at the end of the game(life) we will have the greatest victory there is...eternity with our Almighty Savior Jesus Christ. Basketball ended but my life and relationship with Jesus is never ending and it can never stop growing as long as I am pushing to know Him more and allowing the Him to work through me in the ways He wants and desires. Kaabong this week is where this was really laid on my heart this week. The people of this place have no idea who Jesus is. They have no desire to live, their lives mean nothing to them. It has broken my heart to see people not have the hope we can have for life and not be able to experience the love of Jesus Christ. Yet, I have all the opportunity in the world and I deny it daily and in so many ways. Are you kidding me? How selfish of me. It is a smack in the face and I keep feeling like I am being smacked in the face with all these realizations of how my life needs to be changed to better bring glory to God in my life and it is discouraging because I feel like I never am doing anything good for God in return but He is still blessing me more and more each day by opening my eyes to these things. Thats it! It is not about ME! It is not about me growing and then doing good things or however you want to say it. I believe it is God showing us things that need changing or areas that need growing so we get ourselves out of the way and HE DOES THE GOOD THINGS THROUGH US. It is all Him. Like I said before He does not need me. When blessing come in my life or people see good things in my life I do not want them to give the compliment or brag to me I want it to be given to God. I have heard the saying "I am nothing without Jesus" wrong, I am something alright, I am a whole lot of mistakes, sin, pridefulness, the list could go on and on. Thank you Jesus for saving me. Thank you for loving me so much. All glory, honor and praise is Yours forever and ever

Uganda 2012 #1

I really do not even know where to begin. I have been here for a little over 2 weeks and seeing Gods amazing work each and every day is just overwhelming. I have got to love on sweet sweet children, share the gospel with people and try and seek out God in all that I do. Instead of going over every detail of my trip this blog will be more of just what God has laid on my heart the last couple weeks. Not in any way trying to take away from the awesomeness He has done in the different ministry areas, I just want to share how through these minstries he is changing and molding my heart to understand more of what my life as His servant should look like. Helping these sweet innocent children is so very important to me and I want to share the heart breaking stories of these children and help you better picture the lives these children live but not to feel sorry for them and that be it but to show that this life is not about us. It is not about being comfortable. It is about serving Jesus Christ at any cost. What I am having trouble figuring out is who is really worse off? Me or these abandoned children who I see have nothing materialistic wise but have a faith so great in God, who are so thankful for any little thing they get and so willing to give what little they have. They worship and pray so passionatley and whole hearted. You can see the purness and honesty of their worship. Yes to the human eye these people and children have it rough and live lives that are unimaginable but yet the ones who do know Jesus and are "born agains" have a lot more of the qualites that Jesus calls us to have(Galtions 5)than what I see in myslef most the time. That is a tough one for me to swallow and admit. It seems to me that having less here on earth but having a greater faith in Jesus Christ is better than having a comfortable life and not such a great faith. I mean the Bible says if we have great enough faith He can move mountains. Well why in the world would we not have such great faith then? For me its because at home I have so many other things that I put my faith in and do not even realize it. It is not about trying to have the best of both worlds but living day in and day out on my knees for Jesus Christ. I want to have great faith! I want to be obedient to whatever He calls me to do. All I want is to serve Him, bringing nothing but Honor and Praise to His Holy name. Jesus never said it would be easy, if you read in the bible there are not many times when it was in any way easy to be obeident in Christ. Why would it be any different now? Why should it be easier for us than it was for the people who lived back then? I am so thankful for this opportunity to grow in my faith and discover my God through these particualr ministries. He is so mighty and I am so grateful. Please keep me and the people of Uganda in your prayers because just like any where in the world there are a lot of people who do not know Jesus. Pray those opportunities to share with them will arise and that they will accept the most precious gift of salvation. Pray for the 175 people who have become new believers in Christ the past 2 weeks and of course pray for the precious children here who need the all the love and prayers we can give them. This is not my life it is His. Everyday for Him! God Bless!

I will follow you.

Then he said " The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few" Matthew 9:37 and Luke 10:2

Everything Jesus says in the Bible is important and it all has purpose so I believe that if he is making a point to say something more than once He is really wanting us to get it. I have heard this verse several times before but the impact it is having on my life right now is like never before. Being a "worker" for Christ like this text mentions is all I want to be about. Everything else has lost so much significance. I am about to graduate college in 3 weeks and where before, starting my career in education would have been my top priority. That has lost so much significance because God is showing me that I am here on this earth to be His worker and that nothing else really matters if it apart from Him and His will. I am not saying that I don't want to be a teacher and I can't be that "worker" He wants if I get a teaching job. I am saying that I am done trying to make Jesus fit into my list of priorites and selfish desires. I am erasing my list and only writing one thing "Worker for Jesus" or "Diciple maker" This is all I desire to be. Seriously! Nothing else matters. What is a life without Jesus? I do not want to slide into being comfortable in life. I do not want to be satisfied. I want to be broken by my Savior day in and day out because sadly that is when I seek Him the most and that is when I grow in knowing Him more. All I want to do is serve Him in whatever brings Him the most glory, honor and praise. My "yes" is on the table to do whatever that may be. We are called to be radical. I will not settle for what today we call "normal" or the "American dream" It is about being His "workers" and sharing the love of Christ and His gospel with the MILLIONS of people who have never heard. Go give them a chance to have the awesome all consuming love of our almighty Savior. How selfish of us to not go share this one of a kind love? It truly is all that matters!!! Carry your cross daily.

Hope you all have a super blessed week!
God Bless!

Jenny

Glory to God forever!

God is so big and he is showing me daily how he can work if I will just make Him my focus in all I do from the biggest to the very smallest of things. He has opened the door for me to return to Africa this summer and I am so pumped to get back and serve Him there. I am staying for 11 weeks this time and know that He has big things planned. It is cool to see God doing things now thati tralize are preparing me for my trip. I have found an awesome church and and Bible study group to be a part of and excited to God working those. It really seems like I have this whole new outlook and direction in life. Its like something has finally clicked and my life is Christs and he is not just a part of it, HE IS IT! I'm not letting go of that ever. It just gives me so much Joy and excitement to think of how much Jesus loves me, I just want to show it in every way possible. I want to yell everyone how.amazing my God is and how they can have the same thing. Nothing dose.matters on this earth if it is not for the glory of God but man how everything can be sk great if it is all for His glory. I am so blessed to serve such a mighty, living and loving God. I don't ever want to lose sight of why I am here on earth. He is he creator of all, I was made to serve Him and no one can take that away from me and that is the coolest thing ever. Nothing can compare to that awesomeness.

Have a blessed week!

Everyday for Him!


Jenny