Sweetly Broken and Holy Surrendered

It is not that God is finally showing me how He can really work and how powerful He is but that I am getting out of my own way and allowing the Holy Spirit to move and work in me like He wants to. It saddens me but brings me so much joy at the same time. I have let so many things block and distract me from true meaning of being Holy surrendered to my God. It's not my life it's not about me. I have said this in many of my blogs and saying it was hard because as a selfish human and living it out means sacrifice in some way that we don't want. Who cares because the small "American sacrifice" cannot compare to how awesome the move of the Holy Spirit in your life is. Basketball was such a huge part of my life and I wanted to be successful and compete at the highest level and I would do whatever it took to do that but there were days that I didn't want to do the work that I required of myself. I would lose focus of what hitting a 3 pointer at the end of a game to win felt like or winning a championship or knowing I made my dad proud. From the age of 9-21 this is what I loved and strived for. I could always relate and use basketball in my walk with Christ. It was my biggest ministry field and I give God all the Glory for my success. I am getting to what this has to do with now in my life I promise. I am a visual, can relate to life stories kind of learner. I see now my relationship with my Savior is a lot like my relationship with basketball was. I wanna be the best I can for my Savior not because I have to be because God doesn't need me or depend on me(thank goodness) He wants me though. He wants me to fight and give everything I have for Him. The feelings of different emotions and the blessings He gives us when we do these things are like hitting a 3 pointer to win a game or winning a championship or like making your father proud but so much greater and sweeter. Yes, there will be times we get tired and don't want to keep pushing to be better but all we have to do is remember how sweet it feels when Glory is brought to Him. Not to focus on the last play but move on to the next play and make it count and keep in mind that at the end of the game(life) we will have the greatest victory there is...eternity with our Almighty Savior Jesus Christ. Basketball ended but my life and relationship with Jesus is never ending and it can never stop growing as long as I am pushing to know Him more and allowing the Him to work through me in the ways He wants and desires. Kaabong this week is where this was really laid on my heart this week. The people of this place have no idea who Jesus is. They have no desire to live, their lives mean nothing to them. It has broken my heart to see people not have the hope we can have for life and not be able to experience the love of Jesus Christ. Yet, I have all the opportunity in the world and I deny it daily and in so many ways. Are you kidding me? How selfish of me. It is a smack in the face and I keep feeling like I am being smacked in the face with all these realizations of how my life needs to be changed to better bring glory to God in my life and it is discouraging because I feel like I never am doing anything good for God in return but He is still blessing me more and more each day by opening my eyes to these things. Thats it! It is not about ME! It is not about me growing and then doing good things or however you want to say it. I believe it is God showing us things that need changing or areas that need growing so we get ourselves out of the way and HE DOES THE GOOD THINGS THROUGH US. It is all Him. Like I said before He does not need me. When blessing come in my life or people see good things in my life I do not want them to give the compliment or brag to me I want it to be given to God. I have heard the saying "I am nothing without Jesus" wrong, I am something alright, I am a whole lot of mistakes, sin, pridefulness, the list could go on and on. Thank you Jesus for saving me. Thank you for loving me so much. All glory, honor and praise is Yours forever and ever

Uganda 2012 #1

I really do not even know where to begin. I have been here for a little over 2 weeks and seeing Gods amazing work each and every day is just overwhelming. I have got to love on sweet sweet children, share the gospel with people and try and seek out God in all that I do. Instead of going over every detail of my trip this blog will be more of just what God has laid on my heart the last couple weeks. Not in any way trying to take away from the awesomeness He has done in the different ministry areas, I just want to share how through these minstries he is changing and molding my heart to understand more of what my life as His servant should look like. Helping these sweet innocent children is so very important to me and I want to share the heart breaking stories of these children and help you better picture the lives these children live but not to feel sorry for them and that be it but to show that this life is not about us. It is not about being comfortable. It is about serving Jesus Christ at any cost. What I am having trouble figuring out is who is really worse off? Me or these abandoned children who I see have nothing materialistic wise but have a faith so great in God, who are so thankful for any little thing they get and so willing to give what little they have. They worship and pray so passionatley and whole hearted. You can see the purness and honesty of their worship. Yes to the human eye these people and children have it rough and live lives that are unimaginable but yet the ones who do know Jesus and are "born agains" have a lot more of the qualites that Jesus calls us to have(Galtions 5)than what I see in myslef most the time. That is a tough one for me to swallow and admit. It seems to me that having less here on earth but having a greater faith in Jesus Christ is better than having a comfortable life and not such a great faith. I mean the Bible says if we have great enough faith He can move mountains. Well why in the world would we not have such great faith then? For me its because at home I have so many other things that I put my faith in and do not even realize it. It is not about trying to have the best of both worlds but living day in and day out on my knees for Jesus Christ. I want to have great faith! I want to be obedient to whatever He calls me to do. All I want is to serve Him, bringing nothing but Honor and Praise to His Holy name. Jesus never said it would be easy, if you read in the bible there are not many times when it was in any way easy to be obeident in Christ. Why would it be any different now? Why should it be easier for us than it was for the people who lived back then? I am so thankful for this opportunity to grow in my faith and discover my God through these particualr ministries. He is so mighty and I am so grateful. Please keep me and the people of Uganda in your prayers because just like any where in the world there are a lot of people who do not know Jesus. Pray those opportunities to share with them will arise and that they will accept the most precious gift of salvation. Pray for the 175 people who have become new believers in Christ the past 2 weeks and of course pray for the precious children here who need the all the love and prayers we can give them. This is not my life it is His. Everyday for Him! God Bless!