I like to think.for the most part I have been a pretty "good" girl in the 22 years I have lived. I have had what people would say is a "normal life. God has blessed me more than I deserve. Really he blessed us all more than we deserve when he died for OUR sins but anyways...parley the question "what am I doing for God?" Has weighed heavy on my heart. I have felt like I defined being a Christian to fit what I wanted in my life and tried to make it fit my selfish ambitions. Everyday I realize more and more how wrong and selfish I was. I also realize that I am human and naturally in my sinful nature I think like that BUT through the power of God I can do a WHOLE lot better. I want my life to be drowned in the word of God. I want everything I think, say and feel be for Gods Glory. I want everything I do in my life to be through Gods will. The other day one of my friends was telling her little girl " you better be good or Santa will put you on the naughty list and you wont get toys" I thought to myself "Jenny this is your way of thinking when it comes to Gods will for your life." I have thought,"I know God doesn't owe me or have to bless me with what I want but surely he will since I have been a "pretty good girl"" I have thought Gods will for me will surley be finish college, get a job, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. Now there is nothing wrong with doing those things at all, where I have messed up was wanting those things on my time and just assuming that's what God will is for my life. Its like I have been trying to bargain with God instead of TOTALLY surrendering and fully seeking Gods will for my life no matter what the circumstances.
In a way I feel like I am starting new, what use to be my goals and plans for my life have changed and God is showing me many areas in my life that I need to make changes, some big and some small. God is showing me that he really does have my best interest at heart and he is going to take care of me NO MATTER WHAT,I just have to get my stubborn and selfish butt out of the way. There really is no greater Joy, no greater Peace and no greater Love that we can find and have ANYTIME like Jesus. It gives me chills writing it. I have taken it for granite for so many times and only proclaimed and asked for it mostly in time of hurt and need. Not anymore though.
I am ready to be a true disciple of Christ and sincerely accept his will for my life. Whetether it be a stay at home mom or to be single and be a missionary in a different country. I am here on this earth to show and spread the love of Jesus Christ no matter what. It doesn't matter to me where or with who anymore because I know I will find no greater joy, peace or love than what I will in Gods plan for my life. I am done just admiring, just worshiping and just loving God. It is time I go do what he says and do it his way...no matter what.
It is simple written down but living it is a whole other inning in the game of life , I am going to strike out plenty of times but I know God will keep pitching to me and never give up on me and that give me the courage to take on anything that comes my way because "my God is bigger and my God is greater than any other."
The last thing that I think is one of the most important parts to living out all I have written above is to live one day at a time. I cant get caught up in trying to see where and what I will be doing next week, month, year or 5 years. I will miss out on what God wants and is doing now. He has discipleship and blessings for us each day but I will miss them if Im to busy worrying or trying to look ahead. God already has it figured out and its way better than I could plan it so why worry about it and miss out on something great right now.
Everyday for Him
Matthew 10:28
Luke 12:48
Jeremiah 29:11.
God Bless
Monday, December 26, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Selfless/Empty Faith
Finding ways and words to start my blog without being repetitive is hard. I am not a good starter...anyways the title of my blog is selfless faith, it goes along with my last blog probably in a lot of ways but it has been on my mind a lot lately and I believe it is where God is working in my heart right now. I have been studying the book of James a lot the past few months and it seems that no matter where I go, whether it be to bible study on Thursdays, Wednesday night church, quotes on twitter or fuel, James or something on Faith has been the focus of the majority of the sermons or group discussions. It blows me away how God reveals himself and makes the area he is growing you in show up around every corner you turn. It makes me think "Man he loves and cares about me so much" and my appreciation for that could never be enough.
Faith is more than just saying you have it and it is even more than just believing. In James 2:19 it says "You believe that there is one God, Good! Even the demons believe that and shudder." It is not enough to just believe that God can do anything, its even more selfish to just expect God to do whatever we might ask of him. Paul talks about how Faith is a free gift from God. I believe that Faith can be such an incredible thing and God can do whatever he wants with our lives if we totally surrender to him and have total Faith in his plan. My struggle is not not having faith but having Faith that is empty. I pray to God and say "I have faith in your will for my life Lord and I give all my worries and burdens to you God". Then the next day I find myself worrying, stressing, and being sad about the things I had supposedly given to him and said God I had faith in you with this. That is empty faith, and I miss out on the opportunities to live life and and share the love of Christ through my life bc I am to busy feeling sorry for myself. I am so worried about my own selfish ambitions that I lose sight of why I am here on the earth to begin with. Praise the Lord that he is so forgiving and loving. It excites me to be realizing all of this because I know having total faith in God is going to bring more Joy and Happiness in my life than I could ever imagine. It already has, I know that there are always going to be hard times and that there will always be trials and sufferings to endure, I have them now, but the difference is that I know the hurt and pain is for a greater reason than I can see and it is worth enduring because I know God is going to see me through. And where ever I end up I have Faith and a peace that it is such a better place than where I would have been if I wouldn't have let him lead my everyday.
I want my faith to make a difference in my life, I want to be consistent and have continual faith and in everything I do bring Glory to God. Living for God is my purpose.
Everyday for Him!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
How he loves us!
I am such a random blogger but that is because...I don't get on the computer much because I am dependent on my phone for all things that a computer can do and refuse to try and type a long blog on a touch screen. If you think my grammatical errors are bad now, they would be ten times worse on my phone. I really do enjoy blogging though, I have started writing a lot more in my journal as well. It seems like when you write out what all is going on in your head sometimes things become more clear or it just makes you feel better about a situation. I have found though that when I write in my journal it always turns out to be a prayer to God and like I am writing a letter to him. I have gone back and looked at some of my old journal entrees from 2 or 3 years ago and laugh but also am amazed and blessed at how God has always got me through and has answered my prayers or shown me why he didn't exactly answer my prayer the way I wanted him too.
Tonight when writing this blog I have a new peace but at the same time am burdened and disappointed in myself. I know that seems contradicting, how can you have peace but still burdened? Well this is how I feel like this, we face trials in our everyday life, some we kick through and they don't even phase us and then others seem like they kick us down and we feel like we will never be able to get back up. The smaller trials we just handle on our own and think I can take care of this myself but then something happens that is bigger than us and something that we can’t control happens and THEN we run to God and beg for his mercy and pray more than we ever have. Suddenly we are reading our Bible more and spending more time with God. I am sooo guilty of this. Before I started this blog I looked at all my other blogs and see that it takes something hurtful and painful to happen in my life for me to TOTALLY surrender to God. The bible talks about how we should rejoice in our sufferings and I never understood how that could be totally possible to honestly do, but I think I understand a little more now. I can look back in my life and see that when I was suffering and had hard times I ran to be closer to God and sought after his will more determined than ever. Selfishly I want to say Why God? Why do I have to hurt like this? When really I need to be saying I am so sorry God for not seeking to know you with this eagerness every day, please have mercy on me for not letting you have all of me every day of my life. Why do I make Jesus just a part of my life when it’s convenient to me and just when I need something? I feel burdened with selfishness for not making him my life day in and day out. We make things and people here on earth so important and the center of our lives and I feel there is nothing wrong with that IF we are letting God be the controller of our lives. I have realized that when we stop needing the "earthly things" to make us happy and to give us Joy and peace and realize that all we need is a relationship and total dependence on God then we will find such a greater peace and happiness than all those things could ever give us. God is a jealous God and he will take away the things that we make more important or just as equally important to him. Thank you God for doing that and caring enough about me to not just let me go. As always typing all this out is a a lot easier than living it but I am making a promise to God to really focus on these things and let him take the driver seat in my life. I know I am going to fail at this a lot but the great and even exciting thing about that is that I know without a doubt God will ALWAYS be there to catch me, teach me and show me again and again how mighty, awesome and loving he is. That is the peace I have tonight. God is a healer, he is all we need because at the end of your life all the sufferings and trials that you think now are so painful and awful are nothing compared to the pain and suffering Jesus went through FOR US so that we could spend eternal life in Heaven. I have got to have FAITH in him that he will see all things through and I can say it but I have to live it and show it and I am going too. James 2:14 says "What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds?" I can talk about trusting God and his plan and will but if all I do is say it and not live it out in then I don't really have total faith and trust in him. Gotta talk the talk and walk the walk.
Every day for him!
Jenny
Tonight when writing this blog I have a new peace but at the same time am burdened and disappointed in myself. I know that seems contradicting, how can you have peace but still burdened? Well this is how I feel like this, we face trials in our everyday life, some we kick through and they don't even phase us and then others seem like they kick us down and we feel like we will never be able to get back up. The smaller trials we just handle on our own and think I can take care of this myself but then something happens that is bigger than us and something that we can’t control happens and THEN we run to God and beg for his mercy and pray more than we ever have. Suddenly we are reading our Bible more and spending more time with God. I am sooo guilty of this. Before I started this blog I looked at all my other blogs and see that it takes something hurtful and painful to happen in my life for me to TOTALLY surrender to God. The bible talks about how we should rejoice in our sufferings and I never understood how that could be totally possible to honestly do, but I think I understand a little more now. I can look back in my life and see that when I was suffering and had hard times I ran to be closer to God and sought after his will more determined than ever. Selfishly I want to say Why God? Why do I have to hurt like this? When really I need to be saying I am so sorry God for not seeking to know you with this eagerness every day, please have mercy on me for not letting you have all of me every day of my life. Why do I make Jesus just a part of my life when it’s convenient to me and just when I need something? I feel burdened with selfishness for not making him my life day in and day out. We make things and people here on earth so important and the center of our lives and I feel there is nothing wrong with that IF we are letting God be the controller of our lives. I have realized that when we stop needing the "earthly things" to make us happy and to give us Joy and peace and realize that all we need is a relationship and total dependence on God then we will find such a greater peace and happiness than all those things could ever give us. God is a jealous God and he will take away the things that we make more important or just as equally important to him. Thank you God for doing that and caring enough about me to not just let me go. As always typing all this out is a a lot easier than living it but I am making a promise to God to really focus on these things and let him take the driver seat in my life. I know I am going to fail at this a lot but the great and even exciting thing about that is that I know without a doubt God will ALWAYS be there to catch me, teach me and show me again and again how mighty, awesome and loving he is. That is the peace I have tonight. God is a healer, he is all we need because at the end of your life all the sufferings and trials that you think now are so painful and awful are nothing compared to the pain and suffering Jesus went through FOR US so that we could spend eternal life in Heaven. I have got to have FAITH in him that he will see all things through and I can say it but I have to live it and show it and I am going too. James 2:14 says "What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds?" I can talk about trusting God and his plan and will but if all I do is say it and not live it out in then I don't really have total faith and trust in him. Gotta talk the talk and walk the walk.
Every day for him!
Jenny
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sorry it has been so long!
Well I apologize for it being so long since I have blogged. Between basketball and now catching up with all my school work and trying to finish the semester I have had very little time to even think about blogging. So much has happened in the last few months and I am going to try and cover them all with this blog.
First thing and best thing of all my dad is cancer free and is doing well. His surgery went good and he recovered very quickly(Praise the Lord) He gave us a little scare about a month ago and had what they call a TIA which is like a small stroke but they do not have any permanent damage and they started him on some blood thinners to help prevent that from happening again. I am so thankful and grateful to God that things went so well and that God healed him. My dad is so special to me and I really could not have been blessed with a greater dad. Saying that my Mom is one awesome women as well because if you know my dad at all you know how stubborn he can be. She has been a rock for not only my dad through all of this but also for her kids. Thank you God for such amazing, strong, Christian parents.
Next, Basketball is over :( ahhhh I hate it and it is something that honestly I am struggling with right now. I knew it was going to be hard when it ended but man I really miss it and don't want it to be over with at all. We didn't finish the way I wanted too and that was very upsetting because I just knew we were going to win a national championship. I know there is life after basketball and I trust that God has a plan for me but basketball became a part of who I was and it may sound really dumb and ridiculous to some but it is like losing a part of what made me who I am and some of what made me special. Writing it out I feel like it is even a little selfish and I am praying and really working on figuring out what they next steps God wants me to take in my life but it is hard. I can see lately that I am letting other things in my life affect what God is trying to show me. My being upset about basketball being over needs to be directed in a positive way to seek out and discover what God wants to do with my life next. I want to be in Gods will for my life in every step I take everyday of my life no matter what.
The next think to talk about that has happened in the last few months is an exciting thing to me...I have my best friend in the whole world back in my life. Not only is he my best friend in the whole world but he is my boyfriend. I am so crazy about this guy, he is such an amazing guy and I get to call him mine :) I am so thankful that in these last few months that have not been so easy God blessed me with such a great guy to be here for me. Ethan Branscum is what I call a good catch. :)
That pretty much sums up what has happened in the last few months in my life. God is continually working in my life and I am continually failing but I make the right turns occasionally too. I think that is just how life goes, it is how your learn from the times you fail and how quick you get up from those times that determines how many right turn you do make. If you let the times you fail consume your life then you will miss and not see the right turns God puts right in front of your face. One of my favorite things to say to myself, and that i say all the time is NO MATTER WHAT I GO THROUGH, IF I AM SEEKING GODS WILL THEN GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.
Hopefully I can keep my blog up a little better now that school is almost over with!
Be Blessed!
Jenny Ann
First thing and best thing of all my dad is cancer free and is doing well. His surgery went good and he recovered very quickly(Praise the Lord) He gave us a little scare about a month ago and had what they call a TIA which is like a small stroke but they do not have any permanent damage and they started him on some blood thinners to help prevent that from happening again. I am so thankful and grateful to God that things went so well and that God healed him. My dad is so special to me and I really could not have been blessed with a greater dad. Saying that my Mom is one awesome women as well because if you know my dad at all you know how stubborn he can be. She has been a rock for not only my dad through all of this but also for her kids. Thank you God for such amazing, strong, Christian parents.
Next, Basketball is over :( ahhhh I hate it and it is something that honestly I am struggling with right now. I knew it was going to be hard when it ended but man I really miss it and don't want it to be over with at all. We didn't finish the way I wanted too and that was very upsetting because I just knew we were going to win a national championship. I know there is life after basketball and I trust that God has a plan for me but basketball became a part of who I was and it may sound really dumb and ridiculous to some but it is like losing a part of what made me who I am and some of what made me special. Writing it out I feel like it is even a little selfish and I am praying and really working on figuring out what they next steps God wants me to take in my life but it is hard. I can see lately that I am letting other things in my life affect what God is trying to show me. My being upset about basketball being over needs to be directed in a positive way to seek out and discover what God wants to do with my life next. I want to be in Gods will for my life in every step I take everyday of my life no matter what.
The next think to talk about that has happened in the last few months is an exciting thing to me...I have my best friend in the whole world back in my life. Not only is he my best friend in the whole world but he is my boyfriend. I am so crazy about this guy, he is such an amazing guy and I get to call him mine :) I am so thankful that in these last few months that have not been so easy God blessed me with such a great guy to be here for me. Ethan Branscum is what I call a good catch. :)
That pretty much sums up what has happened in the last few months in my life. God is continually working in my life and I am continually failing but I make the right turns occasionally too. I think that is just how life goes, it is how your learn from the times you fail and how quick you get up from those times that determines how many right turn you do make. If you let the times you fail consume your life then you will miss and not see the right turns God puts right in front of your face. One of my favorite things to say to myself, and that i say all the time is NO MATTER WHAT I GO THROUGH, IF I AM SEEKING GODS WILL THEN GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.
Hopefully I can keep my blog up a little better now that school is almost over with!
Be Blessed!
Jenny Ann
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Focus... Faith... Patience
I cant believe it is already February, time is flying by but it everyday seems so slow at the same time, if that even makes any sense. Basketball is still going good, we are 17-2 overall and 7-1 in conference. It is starting to be crunch time and pretty soon we will have to win to keep playing. School is going fine but the work load is about to triple and I am not looking forward to that at all. These next 4 months are going to go quick but they are going to be a tough 4 months. Found out this month that my dad has thyroid cancer and is having a thyroidectomy this Wed the 9th. I am trying not to stress or worry about it but it is very very very hard not too. The doctors seem very positive about this type of cancer and say the cure rate is higher than a lot of other cancers. But cancer is cancer and it scares me tremendously.That is where the title of my blog fits in, in my last blog I talked about wanting to be a better Christian this year and that being the focus in everything I do in my life and I said it is much easier said then done. This last month has defiantly proven that. It has seemed to be 1 step forward 2 steps back. But I think that is just how life goes and I am taking the attitude of "bring it on" God has shown me in the last month that I have got to let go and have Faith in him and that not everything can happen overnight. It is so easy to worship, pray, study Gods word, stay focused on him and his plan when everything in your life goes the way you want. It is totally the opposite when things stink and it seems like you can never catch a break. It has been so hard for me lately to wake up in the morning and get excited to take on the day and to get excited about what God has for me today. I struggle with having my quiet time and spending time in his word. I find myself being bitter because nothing seems to be going right. Then I make myself get up and take on the day and have my quiet time and pray all throughout the day and someway God always shows me he is here and always reminds me that he is in control and yes there are things in my life that hurt, make me miserable at times and that I want different. I feel God is showing me right now that I do not have that kind of relationship with him that when everything goes my way and is good I stay as focused on him and grow with him like he wants me too. I get to caught up in whatever worldly things or people that are making me happy. They become my focus and my life and I lose sight of Gods will and our relationship. I am not saying that God is punishing me, he is seeing me through these trials and temptations of the devil and I am drawing closer to him and maturing as a christian. I believe he is preparing me for what is to come in my life and is defiantly helping me grow in Faith and Patience. Acts 20:24, Luke 14:27
God has blessed me so much in my life and I am so undeserving. Please be praying for my dad and our family. Also, please be praying for the Warren Family, they lost their 7 year old son in a car accident about 2 weeks ago, I cant even imagine the pain they are going through. Things like this make me realize how selfish I am being when I am upset about something so small.
Hope everyone who may read this has a awesome week. God Bless!
Jenny Ann
Monday, January 10, 2011
The start of 2011
I cannot believe another year has come and gone. Life is flying by too fast. I start my last semester of college classes this week, which means I am in my last semester of basketball :( I was counting it up the other day and I only have 15 assured games left. On a happy note we are doing really well, we are 12-1 and have started conference play. I love this game so much and really going to miss it. It like when I get to go play in a game for 40 minutes nothing else in the world matters and all my worries, hurt, problems go away and its just so much fun.
I have so much that is always going through my mind constantly all day and when I try to blog about it, I get excited and try to get it all in and in the right words and it doesnt come out how I it does in my head but anyways...here I go. I was sitting in Church yesterday and the preacher starts talking about New Years resolutions and I have never really put much thought into NYRs and as he kept talking I begin to think of so many things that I have been working on being better at in my life and also all these other things that could use more attention and work in my life. I wont name all them bc there are alot but some of them are things like:
1. Having more patience with not only God but with everyone in my life. Slowing down and stop taking things for granite.
2. Having more Faith and really believing that God is going to take care of me no matter what and that even though things may not be going how I want them too at the moment, if I will just give everything to him and REALLY believe he is going to see me through everything in my life. What makes these things so hard is that it still hurts and you still will have those times when you feel like its never going to get better or end. But that is why its called Faith.
3. Concentrating on the little things in life and not let them pass me by. I get so caught up in planning and looking ahead in my life that I forget to live in the present and just enjoy one day at a time. God has so many little things that he puts in our lives everyday that if we will just take the time to see them. The other day on the bus ride to Texas, which had not been a good day for me, I was upset over my knee being hurt and feeling sorry for myself , me and my best friend in the world weren't talking and I was upset on what was going to happen with us. I had been crying and then fell asleep and when I woke up the song on my ipod was "praise you in the storm" and there was one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen, no joke. Just that song and the sunset gave this peace for a moment and its hard to describe my feeling but it was just awesome to see how God and take the simplest things that sometimes we dont even notice and he makes them have such an awesome impact on us. It made me think how many things happen like that to me everyday that I dont realize be I am so worried about other things in my life that I cant control anyways so there is no need to let them take away from my life.
The biggest things in my life that I am committing to and have such a desire to do this year is Becoming a Better Christian. I want everything, everyday to be about and be working towards living my life to be like Jesus and living in his will for my life. I am excited :) Now saying this is the easy part and being consistent and sticking with and working on this everyday is going to be tough but I know I can do it and I will do it. So to help me I have taken 4 things that I think are things that I need to work on doing everyday and things that I believe are crucial to becoming a better christian.
1. Read my Bible consistently and learn Gods words and discover all the awesome things he can reveal to you through his word.
2. Prayer, talk to God and form a relationship with him, taking everything in my life to him big or small and giving it to him. Talking things out with him and asking him to use me in the way he wants. And that noting I do is not through him or for him. Phillipians 4:6-7, Jude 20
3. Minister to other people. Share Gods word, work, blessings, awesomeness with other people. Do Gods work he has for me in my life no matter what it is. God has a place of service for everyone. Ephesians 4:12
4. Rest. Dont try and take on to much and be super woman. realize things cant be done overnight. BE PATIENT JENNY. Matthew 11:28, Isaiah 26:3
I am so thankful for the past year. I am so excited for this year and what God has planned for my life. I see this year being one of the most memorable years of my life bc there are going to be so many big changes. If you happen to read this blog please keep me in your prayers.
God Bless
Jenny Ann
P.S
...still You Love I
I have so much that is always going through my mind constantly all day and when I try to blog about it, I get excited and try to get it all in and in the right words and it doesnt come out how I it does in my head but anyways...here I go. I was sitting in Church yesterday and the preacher starts talking about New Years resolutions and I have never really put much thought into NYRs and as he kept talking I begin to think of so many things that I have been working on being better at in my life and also all these other things that could use more attention and work in my life. I wont name all them bc there are alot but some of them are things like:
1. Having more patience with not only God but with everyone in my life. Slowing down and stop taking things for granite.
2. Having more Faith and really believing that God is going to take care of me no matter what and that even though things may not be going how I want them too at the moment, if I will just give everything to him and REALLY believe he is going to see me through everything in my life. What makes these things so hard is that it still hurts and you still will have those times when you feel like its never going to get better or end. But that is why its called Faith.
3. Concentrating on the little things in life and not let them pass me by. I get so caught up in planning and looking ahead in my life that I forget to live in the present and just enjoy one day at a time. God has so many little things that he puts in our lives everyday that if we will just take the time to see them. The other day on the bus ride to Texas, which had not been a good day for me, I was upset over my knee being hurt and feeling sorry for myself , me and my best friend in the world weren't talking and I was upset on what was going to happen with us. I had been crying and then fell asleep and when I woke up the song on my ipod was "praise you in the storm" and there was one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen, no joke. Just that song and the sunset gave this peace for a moment and its hard to describe my feeling but it was just awesome to see how God and take the simplest things that sometimes we dont even notice and he makes them have such an awesome impact on us. It made me think how many things happen like that to me everyday that I dont realize be I am so worried about other things in my life that I cant control anyways so there is no need to let them take away from my life.
The biggest things in my life that I am committing to and have such a desire to do this year is Becoming a Better Christian. I want everything, everyday to be about and be working towards living my life to be like Jesus and living in his will for my life. I am excited :) Now saying this is the easy part and being consistent and sticking with and working on this everyday is going to be tough but I know I can do it and I will do it. So to help me I have taken 4 things that I think are things that I need to work on doing everyday and things that I believe are crucial to becoming a better christian.
1. Read my Bible consistently and learn Gods words and discover all the awesome things he can reveal to you through his word.
2. Prayer, talk to God and form a relationship with him, taking everything in my life to him big or small and giving it to him. Talking things out with him and asking him to use me in the way he wants. And that noting I do is not through him or for him. Phillipians 4:6-7, Jude 20
3. Minister to other people. Share Gods word, work, blessings, awesomeness with other people. Do Gods work he has for me in my life no matter what it is. God has a place of service for everyone. Ephesians 4:12
4. Rest. Dont try and take on to much and be super woman. realize things cant be done overnight. BE PATIENT JENNY. Matthew 11:28, Isaiah 26:3
I am so thankful for the past year. I am so excited for this year and what God has planned for my life. I see this year being one of the most memorable years of my life bc there are going to be so many big changes. If you happen to read this blog please keep me in your prayers.
God Bless
Jenny Ann
P.S
...still You Love I
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