Sweetly Broken and Holy Surrendered

It is not that God is finally showing me how He can really work and how powerful He is but that I am getting out of my own way and allowing the Holy Spirit to move and work in me like He wants to. It saddens me but brings me so much joy at the same time. I have let so many things block and distract me from true meaning of being Holy surrendered to my God. It's not my life it's not about me. I have said this in many of my blogs and saying it was hard because as a selfish human and living it out means sacrifice in some way that we don't want. Who cares because the small "American sacrifice" cannot compare to how awesome the move of the Holy Spirit in your life is. Basketball was such a huge part of my life and I wanted to be successful and compete at the highest level and I would do whatever it took to do that but there were days that I didn't want to do the work that I required of myself. I would lose focus of what hitting a 3 pointer at the end of a game to win felt like or winning a championship or knowing I made my dad proud. From the age of 9-21 this is what I loved and strived for. I could always relate and use basketball in my walk with Christ. It was my biggest ministry field and I give God all the Glory for my success. I am getting to what this has to do with now in my life I promise. I am a visual, can relate to life stories kind of learner. I see now my relationship with my Savior is a lot like my relationship with basketball was. I wanna be the best I can for my Savior not because I have to be because God doesn't need me or depend on me(thank goodness) He wants me though. He wants me to fight and give everything I have for Him. The feelings of different emotions and the blessings He gives us when we do these things are like hitting a 3 pointer to win a game or winning a championship or like making your father proud but so much greater and sweeter. Yes, there will be times we get tired and don't want to keep pushing to be better but all we have to do is remember how sweet it feels when Glory is brought to Him. Not to focus on the last play but move on to the next play and make it count and keep in mind that at the end of the game(life) we will have the greatest victory there is...eternity with our Almighty Savior Jesus Christ. Basketball ended but my life and relationship with Jesus is never ending and it can never stop growing as long as I am pushing to know Him more and allowing the Him to work through me in the ways He wants and desires. Kaabong this week is where this was really laid on my heart this week. The people of this place have no idea who Jesus is. They have no desire to live, their lives mean nothing to them. It has broken my heart to see people not have the hope we can have for life and not be able to experience the love of Jesus Christ. Yet, I have all the opportunity in the world and I deny it daily and in so many ways. Are you kidding me? How selfish of me. It is a smack in the face and I keep feeling like I am being smacked in the face with all these realizations of how my life needs to be changed to better bring glory to God in my life and it is discouraging because I feel like I never am doing anything good for God in return but He is still blessing me more and more each day by opening my eyes to these things. Thats it! It is not about ME! It is not about me growing and then doing good things or however you want to say it. I believe it is God showing us things that need changing or areas that need growing so we get ourselves out of the way and HE DOES THE GOOD THINGS THROUGH US. It is all Him. Like I said before He does not need me. When blessing come in my life or people see good things in my life I do not want them to give the compliment or brag to me I want it to be given to God. I have heard the saying "I am nothing without Jesus" wrong, I am something alright, I am a whole lot of mistakes, sin, pridefulness, the list could go on and on. Thank you Jesus for saving me. Thank you for loving me so much. All glory, honor and praise is Yours forever and ever